hiz...

woah today had one heck of a day manz.... full of emotions in general... yahz... it might get a bit mushy bahz... so don't mind lah hor... :P

woke up at 7 with the intention of going to play bball with my da ge's and da jie's... but then i got up with those heavy eyes and my mom told me it was raining... so i assumed that it was a heavy rain and went back to sleep... ai zai lehz..... 2 hours later i woke up and saw the carpark outside my house dry.... diaoz.... i like nothing to say...... anyway had fun playing bball though i was very rusty... haha... shoot ball also way off... as in REALLY way off... haha... pai seh...

then rushed to bugis for my uni talk with my jc friends... woah good to see them again.... miss them allz... emily... maisurah... geri.. and timo.... who i seriously couldn't recognise... i was like... eh? geri got a new boyfriend ahz? lol.... uni talk was quite interesting... but i dunno whether going for this kind of things is worth it... since i may not go to a uni until i hit maybe.... 28 to 30... long way from now... assuming my career runs smoothly... yeahz.... but anyway the company itself was worth it...

then rushed to great world to do project with zhao yuan, sin yee and rena... had a horrible latte.... not well done lorz... i feel that it could be better and the service was just way too slow... and too ex... then did project with them.... generally i feel that they're doing a good job at present.... i'm just giving them a little bit more focus only... so its easier for them... but ahz... zhao yuan... today dunno what happened to you... a tad bit on the high side today... so i have really nothing to say... but at least could get everything done... or at least i think so...

dinner went to makan at some indonesian buffet rest... the food was good for buffet standard... but somehow i felt this uneasy feeling that made me unwilling to eat alot... i'll so called explore that later... yahz.. talked a lot of crap, chit chat and stuff... then our guest of honour.. our loreal spokes person xiu yun came.. haha... she got ripped off with a 4 dollar ice kacang... lol... oh wellz... :P

anywayz... on a more serious note... somehow maybe its because of a tad bit of a lack of sleep... things got a little heated today... i think some of you all may know what i'm talking about... and to you all... yesh its true... "old wounds never heal, especially wounds of the heart". and yahz... maybe because of that, i got pretty irritated at someone... that person will know in due time but i shall not publicise it here. must respect that person. its like a sad romance for me... probably one that really meant a lot to me then and now... its just that what has been done cannot be undone and that i've learnt to accept it as it is...

(long pause) but yeapz... its 2005 and now 'im on the road to being more of a guy who can respect and try to understand people better... knowing how far to push (as in tease) and when to stop... i think i'm progressing quite ok already.. just that i won't say.... sorry! haha... for me to know, for you all to find out... one day..... or DIY.. :P but as it is... last year.... there were 3 ohime's that walked into my life... 2 have found their place in my heart. 1 unfortunately... didn't... not my type lahzz... its like zhang zi yi marrying john clease... yahz.. oh yahz.. it wasn't all 3 at one time... i'm not unfaithful... i don't practice such policies... its digusting... yahz... rest assured u readers.... i'm no flirt... not some playboy that will dump a girl once she gets a pimple... nopez... its more like... uh... ah! in my dad's scenario.. a talent search... put it simply... find candidates one by one.. and when u finally choose.... thats it. case closed no one else comes to mind. but heyz... i'm just totally yesteryear... now these bf/gf thing has become such a common phenomena that many do not take it seriously... enough. at least in my viewpoint, i feel that dating and the issue itself, is not because one just likes the person and stuff... in my opinion, when one dates... he/she at that point of time can see the possibility of marriage in mind... of course u might think... "this kind of thing may be on impulse" but still, i feel that this kind of motivation is much better... i mean ok you're attractive and stuff... its all just superficial things... character nice... so? i just don't think that one dates that person just because they click... or the worst and most irritating one being to kill time or to acquire social status... ah... thats just rotten people lorz... and those that get all touchy... are just ugh... taking advantage! well assuming you're my age group.. thats a bit too much! too much as in like fondling in public.. thats just too much... my case? i'm just totally single.. and if i ever do get asked to go out with someone... "haha... that will be like strking 4d!!! lol..." i mean i won't deny her the chance... cause maybe she has seen that hope b4 me... i can accept that, not many people share the same wavelength so easily... but of course.... in that way.. i don't have the right to dump her too.. the dynamics of a relationship... so puzzling... yet so fascinating...

take for example one of my ohime's... i really saw the possiblity of an intimate relationship that may develop bewteen the both of us... character and background wise... well... not too similar... perhaps worlds apart.... i really felt that yahz... she's the one... but of course i'm not so stupid as to ask her close to her A levels.. it would be selfish of me to want to do that... i mean its kind of like mutual respect for each other... but nowz... despite the fact that it has ended... i feel that in 2004... i was not ready to become her bf.. i never asked her... did she suspect? god knows... but i knew and still know that she holds a nice villa in my heart... both actually own a villa standard house... :P its just that i feel that maturity has yet to develop in me... perhaps in that way... i feel that i won't be able to be someone special or close to her... not yet at least... and now since its 2005... the slate is wiped clean... and yahz... its up to her to "charm" me again.... do i still love her? perhaps not... but a strong affection does still exist.. but what cannot be... will never be... until that day it will be... let it be....

old wounds never heal... especially the wounds of the heart...

oh yahz!!! lol... talking about coincidence manz... today i met this outramian... not exactly met... but i was walking with chee han and zhao yuan to the indo shop... then suddenly stun.... i heard " SHAUN!!!! " then turn around and i looked at this person waving at me... she was eating at this prata shop... i was like hmmm... couldn't see her face clearly... so its like... erm... couldn't make out... maybe it is my outram senior.... oh a junior councilor.. my guess? hmmm YSH... her initials... sorry... i really couldn't see ya clearly... sianz... and i feel so bad nowz...

but heyz.. lol... met my scout junior and emcee junior clement!! at the indo rest.... talk about coincidence.... haha...............

yupz... woah late already.... got to fly again...

good day..