Raven 3..... Raven 3.... Raven 3 Raven 3 Raven 3...... We are the Best!!! We are the Champions... We will always be number one RAVEN3!!!

Raven 3..... Raven 3.... Raven 3 Raven 3 Raven 3...... We are the Best!!! We are the Champions... We will always be number one RAVEN3!!!

Raven 3..... Raven 3.... Raven 3 Raven 3 Raven 3...... We are the Best!!! We are the Champions... We will always be number one RAVEN3!!!

rehiz everyone... my first blog entry after 2 weeks.... for once touching a keyboard feels funny.... holding a mouse feels weird.... and looking at a computer screen for more than 10mins is utterly strange....

my first 2 weeks of NS are over.... finally..... been posted to Raven Company Platoon 3 Section 3. quite cool huh.... my pilot career starts in a "bird" company... my sergeants, platoon sergeant and platoon commander are all dammm nice and funny guys... among the 6 of them.... only 1 is chinese.... so is so damm cool!!!! cause the only remotely used chinese words are "zeee bai!!!" lol.... for once i see predominantly chinese speaking people being forced to speak english. enough being said about that.... NS life for me has been like a chalet for me......

but before i continue with my NS life.... let me just touch on something that was left hanging from my last blog entry... HER... i would i say my girl.... it was a heart ranching friday morning... on the 8th of april 2005..... the day my pink IC is confiscated legally... and i'm issued something called a 11b. the only thing racing on my mind was the SMS that will be coming this morning.... this very morning that i will be torn apart or moulded together with another soul.... when that sms came..... it finally came..... i closed my eyes and opened it..... as it finally opened..... she told me this.... (on 2nd thought i shall not quote) she told me that she was not really ready for a relationship now.... she's got her A levels and other stuff to handle.... that sms meant a lot to me... i began to tear as i was on the taxi but was trying to control it cause wait my parents ask me whats wrong.... :P ...

but anyway i told her that i couldn't think of a happier reply from her.... but irregardless of what she said to me... i told myself..... to me.... she is more than just a friend to me.... she's already earned her place in my heart.... although she may just think of me as just her friend..... it doesn't matter to me anymore..... i'm happy that i've told her how i feel.... and i'm happy to let her know that someone see's her as someone who is special.... and nothing less than that but everything more that it can be....

now.... NS has come and that we can't meet for the past 2 weeks..... somehow there was this sense that we would grow further apart.... that we would become nothing more than course mates.... pilots who shared the same skies together.... but.... this wasn't the case.... now.... we've been messaging each other everyday.... everyday until my phone died on me when i decided that i missed talking to her..... or rather.... i decided to call her and talk to her b4 lights out.... it was a moment i couldn't forget.... just staring into the night sea.... looking at changi airport..... listening to the waves hitting the beach.... a clear night....... and her voice... it was something that refreshed me.... after that i found out my batt almost died..... sianz...

luckily it lasted till wednesday... 2 days b4 book out day... we messaged each other till then.... and then i had to ask my bunk mates to lend me their hp so that i can sms her.... hai.... so bad of me.... lol.... NS has in my opinion... brought us closer together..... but to her.... well how she truly feels about me..... is something i won't know... you're always with me babe...

NS is seriously damm fun.... my section mates just love to talk cock.... and most of the time we're talking about BGR.... cause outta 13 of us.... only 2 are attached... and the other 11 (including me) are singles.... probably even virgin singles... so we all share the stories we've experienced and share in the joys we've had and share the eventful stories of the little quest we all go through in woo-ing that one girl....

training wise we have very nice sergeants... punishments are minimal and we're pushed to about our 70% limit.... nothing siong about it yet..... we're verbally punished when we're slow.... but never pumped... or rather "half left down" (push ups) during hot training sessions our sergeants will take this water bottle equipped with a sprinkler device and fill it with cold water and start pretending they're Rambo and start spraying all of us..... damm funny.... and its also very refreshing.....

sadly.... training for me was easy no doubt.... but for some reason.... my knee has given way.....my right knee has effectively lost 60% of its original power.... so now more ability to sprint or squat anymore.... climbing stairs has become difficult..... running becomes tremendously painful..... it feels like any moment if i don't land carefully my knee could just buckle.... my elbow also for one isn't doing too good..... push ups cause my right elbow to crack... and then i'm suddenly filled with pain..... argh...... but somehow i think.... my girl..... she's been there to push me on when i'm lying on my bed applying as much counterpain (deep heat) as i can to ease the pain.....

something i've learnt in NS is that one can learn to scold vulgarities and not offend people... but instead make them burst out laughing... thats why one of my sergeants taught us..... u've got another sergeant who is damm funny.... he has the serious serious face..... the only chinese..... he's been labelled the "asshole" sergeant cause he doesn't crack anyjokes.... till we found out a theory.... or at least i devised a theory.... he will always try and crack a joke early in the morning... and no matter how unfunny it is... if u laugh at it.... guranteed u will have a good day... then now that he has removed his braces... he's smiling more often.... basket.... damm funny... hahaaha.......

my company's block is simply the best spot u can find in tekong... its a corner unit with our bunks facing the sea.... with a great view of singapore..... and direct sun early in the morning to late afternoon.... great place to dry your clothes.... then there's this spot between section 4's bunk and the toilet whereby its a corridor that has a some called balcony facing the sea.... most of us go there to talk on the phone..... thats where i talked to my girl too.... but anyway....

argh..... got this urge to say tat i love her....... argh..... .no no .... i cannot.... the time is not right yet..... its not right yet..... just walk down the same path with her.... share that route.......

okayz.... feeling better now..... anywayz.... went to see a physiotherapist today to check out my knee..... mr philipe steiner.... my dad's former colleague, a swedish saw me today... and talk about self inflicting of pain...... he slowly moved my knee to feel the tight spots and commented that my legs are very inflexible.... very limited movement.... so he moved me to rest on my side and placed the leg facing upwards in a knee pointing outwards position.... and just forced his full weight slowly onto it.... my spine cracked some 5 times..... on each side..... "there u go my friend.... your legs are so much more flexible now...." i was like "ouch..... but hey its more flexible..." lol.... then he went to my problem.. the knee...... pressing and pulling and yanking..... he effectively realigned my hip bone cause it wasn't like moving properly and therefore my knee had limited movement and became overstressed.... so a POP and a ARGH.... settled it.... then he messaged my knee on where it hurt the most and asked my dad "how's life..." thanks to my dad he cotinued rubbing for 2 whole minutes..... inflicting pain on my knee for the full length of time..... after he finished rubbing my knee was numb and he gave a YANK!!! .... ARGH!!!!..... eventually my right leg is now more flexible than my left..... lol.....

my elbow wasn't that bad..... just about 3 fast and swift actions causing my elbow to crack about 4 times solved the problem.... probably the whole session lasting some 45mins saw me being "cracked" 30+ times.... scheduled for an assisted gym physiotherapist session next saturday to help strengthen my legs... and arms to ease the stress of the knee and elbow.... phillipe suspected initially i had osteoarthiritis... or however its spelled.... i was like.... "thats kinda young isn't it..." basically waht this word means is that my knee muscle has worn out... so its bone grinding against bone now.... so only way to find out is to go for an x-ray.... contemplating on whether to go for one soonz.....

hai... anyway today wanted to go out with her.... oh wellz..... things didn't work out..... shalln't post it here..... but somehow.... someway.... i feel this sense that our relationship... hmmm.... its difficult to express.... its like we do share stuff with each other..... but its like its kinda difficult to say where we stand right now...... my feelings to her are clear cut..... but my intentions are clouded because i don't know how she's feeling and the pain she's currently going through.... only after i booked out and when i got to read her blog.. then only i could feel that she still feels the pain from old injuries... somehow... its hard to say whether or to know whether she's going back with her ex.... or whether she's gotten over it...... on one hand i'd like to know whats happening.... but on the other.... i don't want to bring back old wounds....

obligation..... obligation..... a word thats echoing in my mind now..... hai...... those 2 guys who were attached to her..... u 2 are seriously fools to treat her that way..... its utterly painful listening to that that time she told me about it. so called it devotion for one of them.... i admire that.... but if she still says no... and u continue.... i'll call that passionate.... i'm a reasonable guy..... i can emphatise with that too..... but when u still push it that far and make her cry in public..... you're just fucking insane...... and to play with a girls feelings with regards to love..... i'm a reasonable guy.... you're just fucking insane...

hai..... what can i say..... all i can do now..... is be there with her.... to hold, to cherish.... argh... cannot say that.... she's not my gf..... not yet at least.... but as something more than friends... to be there for her when the mask is on AND off.... to be there for her when she rests in her shell.... to be there for her always.... to support her in whatever she does... i will.... i will.....

its almost kinda funny that as i booked out.... on the way home by my friend's father's taxi.... we passed by places that will forever remind me of her... passing by compass point.... reminded me of the day she became more than just an acquaintance.... and more than just a friend and lunch buddy..... she became someone i would remember.... she would know... but u all don't need to know.... we travelled on CTE where another episode as we shared a cab together..... that day was one where she became more than a friend... but someone i was willing to commit my heart with....

the journey ride home was one that triggered so many memories of her.... one that i will remember....

0717.... i'll be there when all hope goes out.... i'll be there when u feel there's no way out..... i'll be there.... i'll be there......

chua bs out.
PS... you'll always be in my heart.