With a fieldpack on my back...
With an aching in my heart...
And my body full of sweat...
I'm a long long way from home...
And i miss my lover so...
Early in the morning run...
When the cold wind blows....
When the cold wind blows.... When the cold wind blows... When the cold wind blows... i'm going home...
i know i know... you have to go.... so hurry back home... i miss you so... .
i'm back after another week of NS... honeymoon period is over and things are starting to kick in... been doing a lot of runs.... running running running..... recently introduced to the GAC or grenade assault course and the IMT or individual marksmenship training... and IFC or individual field craft...
the GAC lesson was damm fun... we basically were taught how to throw grenades from a standing, kneeling and proning position (proning is lying down).... then must do leopard crawls and stuff... that was all just damm fun... haha.... but tiring... that was damm fun.... even had this scenario whereby my friend threw the dummy grenade and it so happen to hit my friend on his head... the funny thing was he was picking up the grenade he threw and he thought that his sergeant was calling him.... little did he know that a grenade hit his head.... haha..... thats what i call dead accurate...
IFC saw us being introduced to camoflauge and cover..... damm fun cause we got to use camo cream and colour our face green and black.... then put grass and leaves all over our body.... must have looked ridiculous.... got some of my friends damm funny... pluck the grass and roots and put on his helmet... so its like from afar u can see roots sticking out of his helmet.... diaoz..... think that lesson was seriously fun....we were told to find cover to observe what was going to happen in a certain area.... and we could not be spotted in the process.... damm fun its like MGS (metal gear solid) haha....
IMT.... basically we were in an arcade.... with real guns.... modified m16s that fire lasers... think playing crisis zone... damm damm fun!!! at first my aiming was seriously.... seriously cannot make it... or at least by my standard... and the computer's standard.... i failed.... eventually i practiced till i got very accurate shooting... do i have what it takes to be like my dad.... a marksmen? hmmm.....
sat morning was my Tactical Handling test... basically we were tested on how fast we can strip and assemble the m16, IA drills (immediate actions if the weapon doesn't work) , fundamentals, magazine loading and loading/unloading of rifle....
basically for the first one stripping and assembling of the m16... we gotta dismantle and assemble the m16 under 1 min in each category... stripping think i did it in under 25 secs... assembling i did in about 30secs... so its a distinction for both... 9/10 and 8/10
IA drills basically nothing much to comment.... got an 8/10
fundamentals basically we gotta go into a prone position and take aim.... after that the sergeant will put a 10 or 20 cent coin on our barrel and ask us to switch fire mode from safe to semi and fire at a target.... if the coin drops we fail.... for me ... well my coin didn't drop and only shook a little.... quite an achievement i would say since the gun is designed for right handers and i'm a leftie.... oh wellz.... got a 23/25...
loading the magazine was totally fucked up... lol... basically we're supposed to put 30 bullets into our magazine under 1 min.... i took like 1min16 secs because my plaster on my thumb got caught quite a few times.... yea yea.. ...
in my section of 13 mates... i got the highest... lol.... feel quite good.... but of course.... i don't want to become cocky so just leave it as it is.... the test isn't over yet...
thats NS for you.... what else is new about my life? well received this e-mail from wen you... very inspiring... this is a quote from her...
It's so beautiful, tt it's intoxicating,
yet it's not so sweet, tt it's sickening,
but there's this hint of melancholy that makes it a real
unlike whispy dreams & fairy tales..
anyway.... i'll leave out some things she wrote for me to know only... but anyway.... after reading what she said to me... this question came about.... am i just too nice that... that girls just take advantage of me? i wonder..... what is happening right now?
ok.... just checked my temperature... its officially been 38.0 for the whole morning.... and its afternoon... pardon me if i become too hypocritical.. hai...
its so funny that its strange.... people have told me... you're such a nice guy this nice guy that... and also having read a rather interesting article which my yfc mates showed to me.... basically its about how nice guys always fall into the "friends" zone... anyway don't have the mood to talk about this...
wah seriously i feel like i'm burning... yea... one must be wondering..... whats new between the both of us... hmmm.... from the last book in... i actually bought 2 batteries.. so yeahz... i now have 3 batteries so that i won't run out of batt.... and yeapz.... its mainly so that we can talk to each other more....
have things improved? hmmm.... beats me.... in my opinion our relationship is starting to stabilise at that level.... can't put my finger on what level is that.... but its not moving at further up... haha.... oh wellz.... but she's not my gf... and she's got quite a handful of problems too... so i can understand....
having heard about her visit to the hospital recently made me get a lil more worried for her.... her trips to the dentist... i felt that nothing things were going fine..... even called her house a couple of times... apparently the maid picked up the phone and was surprised to hear my name... was like as if she knew me.... total shocker.... lol..... talked to her dad for a bit.... nothing much to say....
now comes the big problem..... dunno whether cause i'm sick its making things appear worse than it is... coming back from NS... i went on a blog reading cruise... so happen to check out her blog.... saw one of those song entries... (you know those that you find meaningful and wanna like post it to express your own personal feelings...) was interesting and yet sad to read.... suddenly reading the comments posted in that particular entry... an eyebrow rose on my face... someone else was commenting in her blog too? curious.... reading the comment.... reminded me of that guy.... what is it that makes him wanna get back with her sooo sooo badly when she's already over and done with him... curious as it was.... his commented with a counter song... a song which i think my darling sis will know oh too well...
such curiousity brought me to his blog.... my first book out saw me discovering his blog... with his first entry.... jokingly told her that he set up a blog and was rather curious that something wasn't right... (keeping it loosely accurate) now his blog has her and her photos sprayed all over it.... i'm like.... i smell a fish around here.... and no its not the chicken i've been eating everyday in camp and not being able to eat fish... not to forget that there were some hmm... intimate? too strong a word... but somewhat like a "close" photo taken.... weird weird weird.....
so whats happening now? well one things for sure... something's not right.... haha.... have to be honest with my feelings... that lil green eyed monster has awakened.... but i'm trying to make sense out of everything.... i'm not going to surcuumb (shit is that how u spell it? jia lat... no good no good.... lol) to it...
is it a false sense of hope on the guy's side that they can get back together or does she feel that she's willing to give it another try? curious....
why is it that he doesn't appear in her blog unlike once upon a time... hmmm..... read a bit of her blog again...... suddenly realised.... suddenly realised...
feels like i got an enlightenment.... but i'm still feeling hot... lol... anyway babe.... if we don't get to meet up tomorrow... i hope that this blog entry will reach out to your heart... uh... sounds weird... i mean from what i read... and from what i see and know... as a friend... here's some advice...
once upon a time the two of you were a happy couple.... and after breaking up.... life went on for ya... and now things are coming full circle... he says that a small flame... a flame of hope still exists... what did you say? you said you still loved him but yet was afraid to get back with him cause you're scared that you'll be scarred once again... just like when a flame has water sprinkled on it.... for that moment.... it slowly dies and flickers..... the pain that flame feels is like how you felt at that time...
perhaps my friend... you're afraid that going back with him will only create opportunity for that scenario to hurt you once again... thats how i feel... more over i can see that you two share a bond that has stood strong.... but what is holding you back? ask yourself that... will you two share the same path once again? can you see that path now? ask yourself that...
but of course having said that..... feel like i've lost a few litres of blood writing that... as someone who cares so much about you.... please don't make a rash decision... don't think that he may want to get back with you so badly that you accept him for the effort he has put in... consult your heart and ask yourself... "am i willing to brave it with him once again..." you told me once what happened in the shopping centre once.... that time after yfc at compass point... that time at sentosa by the beach.... something's not right about him.... (hope he doesn't read this.. :P) its like.... he can't be trusted... not by my standards....
but babe... don't let me hold you back... if you truly feel that you want to get back with him.... then go for it... i'll support you!!! ^_^ for you to be truly happy once again... nothing can stop you from getting that... but this i am for sure.... if he does let you fall once again... know that your shaun will be there for you..... i will.... i will....
finished... ha... but of course... i could be wrong with all my interpretations.... after all i never passed my history essays... :P.... it could be for all u may know that he still likes her but she just takes it as it is..... goes out with him once in a while to appease him and have a chance to go out (it just so happens to be with him) she feels that its all over between the both of us and treats him like a friend.... i'll never know.... i won't force it out of her..... if she tells me.... then perhaps things won't be so cloudy in my mind..... if only tekong had that much clouds.... then it'll be so much cooler.... lol....
field camp is next weekend... so i won't be coming home any time soonz... will be confined for another 2 weeks.... sianz... lol.... and this is for you! the guy that i don't trust.... if u so happen to spy on my blog... haha.... someone's jealous... :P but hear me out..... treat her well this time or a series of unfortunate events will happen to you.... not many people like guys who treat their girlfriends that way.... and i'm especially one who feels strongly that guys like this should rot and burn in hell....
anyway.... catch ya all around... buai...
shauny ^_^
anyway.... i'll leave out some things she wrote for me to know only... but anyway.... after reading what she said to me... this question came about.... am i just too nice that... that girls just take advantage of me? i wonder..... what is happening right now?
ok.... just checked my temperature... its officially been 38.0 for the whole morning.... and its afternoon... pardon me if i become too hypocritical.. hai...
its so funny that its strange.... people have told me... you're such a nice guy this nice guy that... and also having read a rather interesting article which my yfc mates showed to me.... basically its about how nice guys always fall into the "friends" zone... anyway don't have the mood to talk about this...
wah seriously i feel like i'm burning... yea... one must be wondering..... whats new between the both of us... hmmm.... from the last book in... i actually bought 2 batteries.. so yeahz... i now have 3 batteries so that i won't run out of batt.... and yeapz.... its mainly so that we can talk to each other more....
have things improved? hmmm.... beats me.... in my opinion our relationship is starting to stabilise at that level.... can't put my finger on what level is that.... but its not moving at further up... haha.... oh wellz.... but she's not my gf... and she's got quite a handful of problems too... so i can understand....
having heard about her visit to the hospital recently made me get a lil more worried for her.... her trips to the dentist... i felt that nothing things were going fine..... even called her house a couple of times... apparently the maid picked up the phone and was surprised to hear my name... was like as if she knew me.... total shocker.... lol..... talked to her dad for a bit.... nothing much to say....
now comes the big problem..... dunno whether cause i'm sick its making things appear worse than it is... coming back from NS... i went on a blog reading cruise... so happen to check out her blog.... saw one of those song entries... (you know those that you find meaningful and wanna like post it to express your own personal feelings...) was interesting and yet sad to read.... suddenly reading the comments posted in that particular entry... an eyebrow rose on my face... someone else was commenting in her blog too? curious.... reading the comment.... reminded me of that guy.... what is it that makes him wanna get back with her sooo sooo badly when she's already over and done with him... curious as it was.... his commented with a counter song... a song which i think my darling sis will know oh too well...
yeahz... this is just part of it.... would i say i'm jealous? hmmm... at first i was just taken back... this guy means business.... reminds me of emi and farhan... (u guys rock! and you don't have to be jealous farhan... :P) yet somehow my impression of him from her is that he is nice... but unreasonable.... certain scenarios that happened between the 2 of them totally infuriated me... to me he's no more than scum... an insult to my own principles in life... but anyway i don't know him personally so he COULD be a nice guy.... (which i doubt and wouldn't bother trying to find out.... muahahahah)
you raise me up, so i can stand on mountains;
you raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
i am strong, when i am on your shoulders;
such curiousity brought me to his blog.... my first book out saw me discovering his blog... with his first entry.... jokingly told her that he set up a blog and was rather curious that something wasn't right... (keeping it loosely accurate) now his blog has her and her photos sprayed all over it.... i'm like.... i smell a fish around here.... and no its not the chicken i've been eating everyday in camp and not being able to eat fish... not to forget that there were some hmm... intimate? too strong a word... but somewhat like a "close" photo taken.... weird weird weird.....
so whats happening now? well one things for sure... something's not right.... haha.... have to be honest with my feelings... that lil green eyed monster has awakened.... but i'm trying to make sense out of everything.... i'm not going to surcuumb (shit is that how u spell it? jia lat... no good no good.... lol) to it...
is it a false sense of hope on the guy's side that they can get back together or does she feel that she's willing to give it another try? curious....
why is it that he doesn't appear in her blog unlike once upon a time... hmmm..... read a bit of her blog again...... suddenly realised.... suddenly realised...
feels like i got an enlightenment.... but i'm still feeling hot... lol... anyway babe.... if we don't get to meet up tomorrow... i hope that this blog entry will reach out to your heart... uh... sounds weird... i mean from what i read... and from what i see and know... as a friend... here's some advice...
once upon a time the two of you were a happy couple.... and after breaking up.... life went on for ya... and now things are coming full circle... he says that a small flame... a flame of hope still exists... what did you say? you said you still loved him but yet was afraid to get back with him cause you're scared that you'll be scarred once again... just like when a flame has water sprinkled on it.... for that moment.... it slowly dies and flickers..... the pain that flame feels is like how you felt at that time...
perhaps my friend... you're afraid that going back with him will only create opportunity for that scenario to hurt you once again... thats how i feel... more over i can see that you two share a bond that has stood strong.... but what is holding you back? ask yourself that... will you two share the same path once again? can you see that path now? ask yourself that...
but of course having said that..... feel like i've lost a few litres of blood writing that... as someone who cares so much about you.... please don't make a rash decision... don't think that he may want to get back with you so badly that you accept him for the effort he has put in... consult your heart and ask yourself... "am i willing to brave it with him once again..." you told me once what happened in the shopping centre once.... that time after yfc at compass point... that time at sentosa by the beach.... something's not right about him.... (hope he doesn't read this.. :P) its like.... he can't be trusted... not by my standards....
but babe... don't let me hold you back... if you truly feel that you want to get back with him.... then go for it... i'll support you!!! ^_^ for you to be truly happy once again... nothing can stop you from getting that... but this i am for sure.... if he does let you fall once again... know that your shaun will be there for you..... i will.... i will....
finished... ha... but of course... i could be wrong with all my interpretations.... after all i never passed my history essays... :P.... it could be for all u may know that he still likes her but she just takes it as it is..... goes out with him once in a while to appease him and have a chance to go out (it just so happens to be with him) she feels that its all over between the both of us and treats him like a friend.... i'll never know.... i won't force it out of her..... if she tells me.... then perhaps things won't be so cloudy in my mind..... if only tekong had that much clouds.... then it'll be so much cooler.... lol....
field camp is next weekend... so i won't be coming home any time soonz... will be confined for another 2 weeks.... sianz... lol.... and this is for you! the guy that i don't trust.... if u so happen to spy on my blog... haha.... someone's jealous... :P but hear me out..... treat her well this time or a series of unfortunate events will happen to you.... not many people like guys who treat their girlfriends that way.... and i'm especially one who feels strongly that guys like this should rot and burn in hell....
anyway.... catch ya all around... buai...
shauny ^_^
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