ok this is a super long awaited post... too much to type on just traffic accidents and cases where i nearly died. one case i had to leave my life to a hands of a woman. (not being sexist. the driver happened to be a woman)

was travelling to work on monday when i was thinking what could be wrong? there's quite a jam going on... like slow moving traffic not normally associated with the time i head to work... then as i was reaching alexander road exit, i saw this stationary yellow bus (think those private medium sized buses) on the first lane on the opposite direction of the express way... then i was thinking woah this bus got some really cool spoiler... only to realise that damm man the guy's roof buckled! means something bloody big must have smashed into it. so as i drove closer i saw... bleahx... a cement mixer.,.... on its side!!! omg!!! it must have hit the bus with such force that it flipped onto its sides. then Class 95 was reporting of an overturned car... i was like "NO!!!! ITS A CEMENT MIXER!!!!" hahaha.... about 30mins later they said it was an overturned vehicle..... about 2 hours later it became an overturned cement mixer... lol.... talk about how many updates they get... its like the X-Files... dunno which one is true... but the jam for this accident was damm crazy... from 3 lanes to 1 lane. the jam just was ridiculous... it was probably a 2km jam that was barely moving. i dunno whether its more than 2km or less. but its basically from alexander road exit all the way to clementi ave 6. go figure! u think in terms of MRT stations. its from Queenstown to Clementi. (thinks Queenstown, Commonwealth, Buono Vista, Dover, Clementi... happy?) worse still is that cement mixers carry what? they carry cement! so smart... =) so what happens when you spill a cup of coffee? coffee comes out... so when you "spill" a cement mixer... CEMENT comes out!!! wah.... *clap clap clap* dunno man as V Lopez from Class 95 said... erect a cement statue there. don't waste it. =P

thats monday.... now for tuesday... (i think it was tuesday...) it rained so damm heavily i was worried that my car would skid. (cause i pump my tyres more than normal, think normal is 220 i pump at 250.) better performance lor, lose a bit of road gripping... anyway i was making this turn to go onto an expressway and it was like one of those than caught me and my friend by surprise. so instinctively i slowed down to make this turn. as i took the turn and gradually turned the steering wheel more and more (as the turn got sharper) i heard the *growling sound* of the tyres... it was as if the tyres were starting to drastically work harder to get a grip. and i thought to myself wah dammit better be careful. lol... yah so i thought woah if my car can have signs of skidding... sure got accidents going on.

and true enough on my way back to base. i was like woah at 2pm got massive jam on AYE. massive to the extent that the expressway wasn't even moving... so as i got on on the first lane. this van zoomed by on the road shoulder. i was like wah speed for what... then i saw "AMBULANCE" on the back of the van and i thought shit something is very wrong. then i look back into my side mirror and saw this flashing lights coming. (woah fire engine lai liao) and soon enough the jeepish like fire engine zoomed past me. i was like woah these guys are in a rus...... *VROOM!!!* one huge fire truck zoomed by shaking my car.... thats how fast he was going on the road shoulder!!! kiao.... then as i got closer i saw this typical pick up truck with police men and firemen underneath it with those stretcher from the amblance next to it. damm!!! something is not right... i hope they're ok. but if you see everyone looking underneath a truck and in their prone position.... it can only mean one thing... they were trying to take shelter from the rain.

last thing i saw this day was when i was heading from AYE to PIE via clementi avenue 6. u know those exits from expressways that make you turn one big round. yah on the opposite side i saw a container truck overturned!!! omg.... he was like making a left turn and probably from the inner lane he skidded and toppled over. WHAM!!!! lucky no one was on the right of the truck. otherwise it'll bring a new meaning to roti prata. must have been damm scary for the driver. cause you're driving a container truck with the container mind you and suddenly your truck skids out of control and flips and hits the curb.... scary.... and when i was going home from work that guy was still there! omg.... the crane was there and they were like thinking how to pick up this container truck... its just so crazy lah.... with that kind of descending and turning road how to put a crane in a stable position to raise a container truck?!?!?!? so what do they do? they hold up the traffic... (with me as part of it) and drove the crane here and there. jia lat lat lat ah....

the next day i was heading back home again and i HAD to drive by that road again (cause the sign said "MASSIVE JAM AVOID AYE (ECP)" which was my direction.) so avoid lor. went past that container crash and bleahx... the curb was all chipped off and broken.... my gosh.... scary. but thats not the most interesting thing that happened... it was my trip down West Coast Highway. bleahx went into another jam. super duper duper jam. i got so bored in the jam i was playing around with my car. on the rear wiper (cool hor my car got rear wiper). on my front wiper. open and close my side windows (yet another cool feature). playing my R&B remix album and dancing in the car. playing with my brakes and moving my car side to side. haha so fun.... bleahx... then suddenly i saw this crane (yah looks like the same one) high up in the sky in front of me... i thought liao..... another container... true enough it was. this time looks even more spectacular. both directions got lanes eaten up. my side was from a 3lane road to 1lane. the otherwise was 3 lane to 2. so what could have happened?

Container truck came out of a T junction road making a left turn. he saw a rabbit on the road and went "KNN!!!! xiao bai tu!!!!". he avoids it and swerves to the right to avoid running over it and then he hits the curb with such force the truck begins to go onto a wheelie to one side and flips onto the centre grass divider... the landing impact was so forceful that the container flew off (mildly flew off) onto the other side of the road blocking 2 lanes) yeah... jam jam jam...

now hor... after all the accidents i shall talk about how 3 people tried to kill me this week.

first was near jurong when i was making a U turn. so making a u turn normally and accelerating off this dump truck. those big big big trucks that carry rocks and sand was coming on the road through a filter lane. so he saw "oh its a teeny puny lancer making a u turn. just chiong lah. i so big" he was going very very fast.... like 20km/h i was accelerating past 30 out of a u turn. (turbo car mah) i was like "fudge brownies and chocolate chip cookies "(when i said something else more vulgar) and swerved away to get out of his way. basket... look down on my car.

2nd person was a lady. woman ah!!! knn... not to be sexist. its just that she was a woman. 2 way single lane road. i was going downhill on one side and the otherside there was a dump truck (again) and a red Kia Picanto behind it. so distance wise about 400m between me and the truck. she tries to overtake the dump truck with a Kia Picanto! uphill!!!! ok i thought it was quite bold. then 350m..... 300m.... 250m..... no sign of her going back to her lane... (for those who can't picture it. she's head on onto me) ok...... i start to worry and stop accelerating.... 200m i judge again where is her car in relation to the dump truck... she's almost abeam the guy... but not ready to swing back into her lane... omg.... i start to high beam her... figured that using my horn would scare her.... so flash flash flash flash flash.... er.... flash.... 150m.... OH MY FISHING GOD..... i start to brake really really hard.... till i stopped... and realised... oh shit... fate is no longer in my hands.... its in the hands of that woman.... and at 50m she swerves into her lane... nah bei.... she got balls of steel. with so little space she still wanna overtake him at as fast a speed she could do.... she din realise if she couldn't make it... she'll have a head on collision at high speed??? woah this one i have to call her a bitch... i could have died ok!!!

and now the third guy who thinks he's a king kong.... a food delivery scooter.... i come out of my expressway entrance lane at around 70 accelerating to 90 to exit at the next exit. this scooter swerves 2 lanes with his hand out to say "look world i'm turning really fast. get out of my way" i saw this guy coming damm fast into my lane... but he was going so fast i think he was faster than 60km/h! (i was at 80 by then) the amount of overtake was crazy.... so i chose not to brake and took the road shoulder.... cause if i braked i dunno what would have happened.... so as i vibrated on the road shoulder's bumpy thingies.... i overtook him and gave him a stare.... those kinda "you're fucking crazy" kinda stare.... and he looked at me and gave the "what i'm king of the road what" kinda lookback... and after that i just zoomed past him.... i hope he learnt his lesson. never mess with a white car thats going to definitely overtake you not because he hates you... but because u're driving too slowlY!!!!!!! idiot!

now the last batch of goondoos that i must rant about.... u know pedestrian crossings? aka zebra crossings? yah.... when u cross it drivers will stop to let you cross right? RIGHT??? normally pedestrian crossings are put perpendicular to the road but these group of clowns from a secondary school very near tiong bahru plaza. (rules out outram secondary school, st theresa's convent, henderson secondary school, delta secondary school) were walking from their sch through tiong bahru park towards tiong bahru plaza. so on the path going towards the zebra crossing they cut corners and walk directly towards tiong bahru plaza. so essentially they never stepped onto the zebra crossing. and as i came in i saw ok zebra crossing clear.... however 3 clowns jay walking saw me and continued walking as if i would stop for them.... so i drove close and just let out my horn at them.... they got a shocked and hope they learnt their bloody lesson... they don't own the road. i DO. i pay road tax ok! idiots.

ok thats about enough things i saw this week. i wanna bleahx already... so much "Road Justice" to dish out.... ok next post if all the good deeds i did this week. =) a lot ok..... hahahaa....

Road Knight signing off....
"Keeping our roads safe from idiots, nimkumpoots and FRIENDLY drivers (Freaking Really Idiotic Emotionally Neurotic Drivers Like YOU) bleahx.... =P