Food for thought:
"Ever wondered how it would be like if what you do best in, is criticized so badly that it makes you feel like dirt?"

Evening fellow readers.... been going through one of the lowest and worst moments in my life yet manz.... can feel this backstabbing in a way.....

First Mr Adrian Ho scolds me for going for flights during school hours..... i mean honestly what the hell is wrong with that? i'm given an excuse chit and it is of my OWN choice to make... not his..... then now he tells me i gotta managed my own time.... oooo wow... as if i'm not trying to do that already? then somemore he asked one of the instructors to fly with me and spy on my flying.... my god..... i was damm pissed off when he told me that he had spied on my flying.... and based on one flight he says i'm a lousy pilot.... GEEEEZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thankfully it was after PE when i was already bloody tired..... otherwise i may have let hell loose on him.... after that talk i was just about ready to withdraw from CJC..... soooo ticked off.....

then after that YFC recruitment is suddenly so pissed off that i got a seat in the F-16 joyride..... that my schedule last week and this week is sooooo freakin tight i had almost no more free time.... then they got pissed off..... and now i'm treated like dirt there.... shit manz.... dunno what the hell is wrong.....

then my parents tell me that NS is very important and that i should be going for NS early now as in december.... when inititally they were open to when i would enter NS.... shall not elaborate about this..... its very complicated....

then we have dear charles bitching about in class and whatever.... people call him to remind him of work, he scolds them.... i was being very forgiving after the Easter Day mass and decided to immediately call him after mass and i got scolded...

then we've got rahul scolding me and shit like that..... fine initially i've always been totally fine about it...... now for some reason... i've not been able to handle it lately.... makes my blood boil..... grrr.......... today i counted 3 times when i nearly blew up in front of him.... last time was in primary 5 when i lost all form of sanity..... ai..... a monster lies within myself..... full of suppressed rage and accumulated hurts.....

then i'm falling so far............................... behind my work..... can clearly say i'm only doing well for itty bitty components... GP is my Essay where i finally got an A. PC i got my C at last.... history.... well..... it shot up and plunged down and its stablising again...

YFC..... my course work is doing fine. just that i'm behind my other pals in terms of actually taking the CAAS exams..... for me i hopefully am making the smarter decision by standing by till around may or june......

PE.... i'm STILL not getting what i want to achieve and i'm just not able to keep up with the mass PEs...... its darn right disgraceful coming from an ASPL (Assistant Senior Patrol Leader) from outram scouts.....

ES..... i'm totally surrounded by slackers from J2...... i'm like alienated from the group and i'm feeling fantastic.... wow....

thats it manz..... some thing is just gonna tick me off these few days...... and i seriously think its gonna be either rahul or charles cause i get a hell lotta shit from them frequently.....

now i'm just living in total uncertainty..... i don't seem to fit anywhere anymore...... i just feel like going up to mr ho and FUCK hiM uPSIDE DOWN!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!! and many other people as well....... UP YOURS!!!!

hai.... tears are filling up the banks of my eyes...... its A FUCKED UP SITuATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck man.........