the 400th post on my blog!

yeah so happy that i've hit 400. for what reason i also dunno. not exactly the happiest day in my life.

flight today was seriously damm bad. damm fucking pissed with myself. don't understand why i'm simply not able to tally the bandit. and now even worse, i've become unsafe as an aviator myself. not being able to take care of knowing that the fuck i'm doing!!!! ugh!!! so so so so pissed!!! just let me break something!!! ARGH!!! gotta get my act together otherwise its not gonna be funny man...

some deep thinking has made me realise that somehow someway, my values and beliefs seem to be very traditional in more ways that one. that i've subscribed to a set of values i choose to follow and now i'm faced with reality that will severely conflict with my values. this has seriously caught me off guard and slammed me against a brick wall. I've learnt to compromise on my values to make myself more flexible. but how much can i compromise? am i losing sight of my own values myself? am i really willing to face a reality that see me's losing my own values? am i going to lose what has guided me and forged me into who i am today?

some random thoughts / lessons for the day
- Makeover seems to be taking shape!
- Don't try to create a shell that you don't fit in.
- Don't keep promises you cant keep.
- Don't lie to make people think you'll keep your promise.
- Most of all, don't lie to make yourself the good guy.

"My blood begins to boil within my veins and ventures deep into the darkest depths of my soul. From the fires that bring life to the passion that drives me, to the rage that drives my anger. All the elements arise in unison. Seeking vengeance. Blood will be spilled. Blood will be spilled"

good day.